They are, indeed, not the worst thing in the world by a long chalk, I know; but they try very very hard to convince you otherwise. Whoever invented them clearly never ever had anything even remotely close. And there really ought to've been a Steering Committee to forsee the utter stupid cruelty of there being the slightest chance of any throwing up being involved. Or, no, perhaps there was, come to think of it.
So, yep, ill, and ill again, after a bout of not very well at all, and all the rest of it, ad infinitum, ad nauseum, even.
Same shirk, different day. Bottom line: I'm still not getting back to people. Still not getting on with things. Jeez, and it's not like my day is hard.
Oh, but it is... for me, it is. You know? And I'm sick of that. So. Right. Need to pull my quirky socks up and get my trousers on the right way round. The pain in current events, all the way from globally to within members of my household, are always going to make me want to pull my head in in deference to the disparity in importance, always. But that's just it, there will always be such. Always. And waiting to be better and feel I've something worth saying, waiting until I'm doing something worth sharing before I even speak to people I know just means I'm losing touch more and more and not even being around when all I can do is offer to be there for someone.
I shall change tack -tack? tac? tach? hmmm, spot the proofreader... Tack, I looked it up, I'm so clever I can do these two things simultaneously... but may have neglected to breathe there for a bit... Note, improvement, in that I can leave uncertainties and even mistakes without feeling like a complete and utter embarrassingly useless moron; something I was unable to do many months ago on coming into LJ and the internet, Yay. I'm a new man...
Let me counter that improvement. You know the editing and proofreading course I'm doing? No? Oh, do pay attention... Anyway, that's all a big improvement too, even attempting that, but... since this last however many days long cosmos-grinding migraine... I've lost it, all the work I've done since -what, January, -ish... I went to do some homework with my live-in co-tenant hairdresser/minder/nurse/studdy-buddy/all-round-very-bloody-handy-indeed-person and I began at the start, telling him I was keen to get into it and such and blah blah blah. Not easily startled and knowing it's best not to startle me, he played cool, gave me a warm up test, which I did rather poorly on. Which is odd, because I knew a lot of the stuff when I first began the course, just from writing, reading, and general osmosis because of a deep interest in such and so on. I became so woolly-headed he had to take stock of the situation and level with me so we could work out what was going on and how best to continue.
Bottom line is, I need to start all over again. I also want to see my GP about another CT scan, if only to stop me remaining more than fairly convinced I've had a stroke or something. I mean, I very much doubt it at the same time, I've had far worse symptoms and've had scans that showed nothing of concern at all. But still. And, the migraines are becoming sort of different again, and that's something usually followed up by a check anyway.
It'll be nothing. Just stress or something. More non-specific symptoms of something intangible and slippery. Yay.
I'm a bit worried I'm not worrying about it more. The scan. The GP visit. Mind, I suppose I really should be well past getting better used to such things by now anyway, even if I'm mostly non compus mentus at the time -or perhaps BECAUSE I am.
Still. At least I've someone to hold my hand this time, and stop me later collapsing into the gutter because of the contrast dye or whatever that hellishly enfeebling stuff is. And he's got his own someone to hold HIS hand, which is nice. See? I need a network, people who support me need support in doing so, that's just how it seems to be for the time being.
So, yes, anyway. My schedule being every bit as up in the air as ever, also waiting for things to get better, may need to come down now. Because that bit's better, at least, and I know there are other, far less simply explained things that have improved.
Things have improved. See? I can even say that. Case in point. Now... to try to not feel shitty for being out of touch with people...